A Year of Blessings, Memories, Good Times and Regrets

This has been a whirlwind year. I was blessed in many ways this year. It was a year filled with memories, lots of laughter and good times. It was also a year of some hard times, but I got through those and came out on the upside. And finally it became also a year of regrets, loss and sorrow.

I care about people a great deal. Some look at this as a good thing and some look at it as a character flaw. I care about people I know and people I don't know. If someone is going through a hard time, a sorrowful time, I hurt for them and I want to do some little something to make it better. Sometimes this bites me in the butt, but it's who I am. I care about animals, all animals and most people don't understand the depths to which I take it but again, that is me.

I've been told by many, many people that I'm nosey. Am I? You bet I am. Too much so sometimes, but it comes from another character flaw, my need to be needed and loved. Some say I'm a strong woman, but that's not really true. I don't know why needing to be needed and needing to be loved consumes me but it does and it causes noseyness sometimes. It causes me to snoop and be nosey and look for ways that I can help someone or comfort someone and in return, be needed and loved. It causes me to cross the line sometimes, unintentionally.

With all the good things that have been in my life this year, yes, there have been regrets. In trying to help, to be kind, to comfort, to uplift, I lost something dear to me. Something special I hadn't had very long, yet I treasured a great deal. I lost a friendship and I regret that. I tried to repair the damage, but it was not to be. While it's not best for me, maybe it is best for the friend and for that reason, I must let it go and move on. Because I do care, not just about everyone else, but about the friend, and I would rather lose the friend than cause any more damage.

I am well aware that I go overboard at times with my offers to help, to do, to give. I love to give. It's probably good I'm not rich. If I were, I would have no more money than I do now. I detest shopping for myself, which is possibly why I'm limited to one pair of jeans, a dozen or so shirts, five pairs of shoes and a dozen or so other items. I loathe it, but I can spend all day and hundreds and hundreds of dollars shopping for someone else. I love it. I love the surprise on their face, their joy and their hapiness when they receive. But again, even though I like to give for the pure pleasure of it, I understand that sometimes I'm trying to buy my way into their lives, to be noticed to be accepted, to be loved and while that's not really acceptable, I don't know how to change because I want these things so badly.

Yes it has been mostly a good year. I was reunited with people that I thought I'd never see again, I saw high school friends and childhood friends from 40 years ago, I found a new church family that I love and who loves me. I reconnected with loved ones. It was good, it was fun and it was a blessing.

There's just that one regret and I have to let it go. Lord, give me the strength to let it go. I am at peace that I thought I was doing and saying the right thing, I truly believed that, but I am still saddened that it wasn't received in the same manner. Just give me strength.

Please do not comment on this blog. It was written for me, so I can reread it and deal with it. I am not looking for pity or consolation or cheerleaders or even understanding. I just needed to write it. I needed to get it out in written words because it will hopefully help me become a better person. If you just feel an overwhelming need to throw your two cents in, please just pray for me, that I will find peace and that I will have another blessed, memorable, good year without causing a situation for regrets.  Thanks and Hugs to all.

It's The Great Corn Nugget, Charlie Brown!

It all began about a month ago when my daughter, Wendi Granger Stanley asked me if I would make corn nuggets for my grandson Aidan's, Thanksgiving Feast at school.  I must admit I had never even heard of a corn nugget, didn't even know they existed, but I said sure, why not. After all, I'm a pretty good cook and surely I could master a corn nugget, whatever it was.
So I came home and searced recipes for corn nuggets and only found a few. The upside was they sounded easy enough and hey, I can make anything, right? It was apparent I had never actually MET a corn nugget before. According to the recipe you mix a can of drained whole kernel corn and a can of creamed corn in a bowl, drop by spoonfuls on a greased cookie sheet and freeze overnight. The next day you prepare a batter, coat the frozen nuggets in the batter and deep fry. Easy, right? Not so much.
With the recipe safely printed out, I put the corn nuggets out of my mind until a few days ago. Wednesday, I mixed the two kinds of corn, dropped by spoonfuls on the cookie sheet and popped them in the freezer. All was going well at that point.  Yesterday at some point, I decided to do a trial run on a few nuggets, so I got them out of the freezer. Well, obviously after I dropped neat little spoonfuls of corn on the cookie sheet, but before they actually froze, the liquid in the creamed corn caused all the little nuggets to spread out and run together and I had a nice solid sheet of frozen corn, no nuggets.
No problem. I got a sharp knife and cut the sheet of corn into bite size pieces. I then prepared the batter, dipped a couple of nuggets, placed them in the hot grease and voila, they fell apart. At this point I was beginning to really dislike whatever fool invented corn nuggets.
Back to the drawing board and by the way, it was then 8:00 at night, the night before the nuggets were to be delivered to the school. I came back to the computer, back to the recipes and began to read the comments under each recipe. A few people said they were great, easy to make, the best recipe they've ever had. I'm not sure what planet these people came from but most comments were from other nugget virgins like me, who could not get the stupid nuggets to stay together while frying, never mind they looked like mini pancakes and not nuggets.
Running out of time, I went back to the kitchen and put my thinking cap on, grabbed a bottle of booze, (just kidding....maybe..) and went to work. I placed all the corn mush back in a large bowl, started adding flour, corn meal, salt, pepper and a little sugar to the mixture. I stirred all this up, dropped a few spoonfuls of batter on a cookie sheet and they still ran everywhere. I added more flour, corn meal, etc and kept dropping until I got them the consistency I wanted.
By now I had no idea what the frankennuggets would taste like with all my additions, so I fried a couple and they were actually pretty tasty. SWEET! I dropped the rest onto cookie sheets, popped them back in the freezer, got up this morning and fried them. They turned out perfectly and were deliverd to the school without incident.
I was indeed, finally, one happy Grandma until I told this story to a friend today and she asked, "Why didn't you just go to Walmart, buy and cook the frozen ones?" What the Heck!? They make frozen corn nuggets? Arggg!
And the grand finale topper. Wendi called me tonight to tell me that Aidan said his friend Ella loved them, all the kids loved them, even his teacher loved them, but he thought they were disgusting and gross! This from the child whose favorite food in the whole world is corn.

Oh well, you can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time but apparently Grandma can't please Aidan with Corn Nuggets.  Me thinks my affair with The Great Corn Nugget is finished. I'm moving on to another veggie.